I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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