Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
