I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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