Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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