the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
