Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
