Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
