YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
