I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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