dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
