Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
