There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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