ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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