This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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