Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
