Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
