we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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