he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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