So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
