It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
