Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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