I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
