They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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