Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
