I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
