just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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