WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
