i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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