Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
