considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
