k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
