i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
