is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
