Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
