no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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