All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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