i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
