he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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