Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(607): View more from New York

so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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(315): View more from New York

she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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(602): View more from Arizona

I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays

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(269): View more from Michigan

It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...

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(213): View more from California

Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral

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