actually, I'm a sock model
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
