he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
