I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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