my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
