So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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