HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
