ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
