I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
