apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I should be sponsored by Trojan
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize