Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
