It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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