i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
